My next few words may make me seem like a know-it-all and a naive woman in the early stages of parenthood. This is not my intention. I am not perfect. I am not now and will not ever be a perfect parent.
I often feel like I live in the land of super-moms and super-babies, and not in a good way. Eat this, take this, do this, don't do this, say this, buy this, etc.
I have done my best to give Baby Girl a good start. She moves well, she eats well, she "talks" more than she does anything. She recognizes little tunes that I've sung to her from week 1 as well as the Jeopardy theme. (We may need to change the evening routine up a little bit...)
We go places together, not because I can't afford a babysitter, (well, I can't), but because I like having her with me. I like seeing her response to cars and sounds and other children. She loves taking a stroller ride to the pool and the pool experiences, geez-- she mimics the miraculous buoyancy of a manatee and the flailings of a water bug. I take her to church, but that's a "whole-nother" blog story.
She cannot read words off flashcards.
My husband and I talk to her and play with her and kiss her so much that she stays a little damp. We sing and dance and fall lovingly into the once-dreaded "goofy parent" role. We try and keep her away from shoes, cords, and plastic bags, but gosh, she's fast.
We prayed that she would come to us and now that she is here, we are relishing our life together.
I am not there for her every hour of every day. I like to work and I like to buy her things so I need to work. But this means that I try and soak her up every chance I get. There are days that my work comes home with me and I do not give her as much attention as I would like. There are nights that I want her to go to bed at 7 so that I can go to bed at 8. My temper has caught up with me on occasion and I'm sure that it will creep up again.
She is not a superbaby, but she is a good baby, my baby, our baby, and I want to find a place in my brain for every smile, sound, discovery, and motion.
I noticed tonight, during our bath, that the crooked lines that are evident on Baby Girl's head only when it's wet are becoming straighter and straighter.
Sleep well, my child. I look forward to our tomorrow.
On another note:
My husband helps make a lot of these times possible. He washes bottles, changes poopie diapers, and has scrubbed the floor in order that it might be a suitable crawling area for Baby Girl. He too, is not perfect, has good days and bad days, but he is present and involved.
I am struggling to find the balance. I'm not sure how you incorporate a third party into the relationship percentage total. 50/50 needs to become 33/33/33 and that's just harder than it seems.
That's more for another day.
Till then, try not to watch that infomercial, even if there's nothing else on TV at 4 am.